Dalia one gold tooth
By: Mehr Eliezer
She hides her sorrows and pains with her smile. Making sure that nobody notices her troubles. Dalia, who skips around the school campus looking for friends. Dalia, who does not understand adults but is one herself. Thinking, acting, talking like an innocent child who’s freedom has been taken away and locked in a glass jar.
Who, wants to live with her parents because for her the world is to violent. Dalia, who has one gold tooth in the front of her mouth, the tooth that always glitters and shimmers when she smiles.
Dalia, who is gone like the wind, gone faster than a turn of a page. Left us, and went to Colombia. Where her mamma and papa live. Where her siblings, doctors, teachers, and secretaries live. Now she will be happy
Now will get her freedom back. Dalia, who is a needle in a hay stack, will be enjoying her time, eating ice creams and her favorite red gummy bears. With her moon of freedom and her sun of happiness. Waiting for a friend to come.
3 comments:
Wow very well written, I liked how finished, great start and ending.
Great job Mehr! I like how you used the teqnique of the use of threes and added lots of information about her likings and personality! I think you should add a bit more detials about why her life is hard. Also, the title should be capilalized and you are missing one period at the end of a paragraph.:))
This is beautiful!
I love this line:Dalia, who is gone like the wind, gone faster than a turn of a page.
Way to go!
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